What has happened to the day when it was normative for a man to open the door for a woman, stand up when she entered the room, or bow in her presence as she curtsies in return? What has happened in society that has dimmed chivalry and lessened the value of dating and relationships? Why does it seem as though few people strive for propriety and carrying themselves in a respectable manner?
From my perspective, I see many sides to this, among the many that impact modern day chivalry. Women, on the one hand, have, indeed, become less respectable, encouraging foul behavior from young men. In the home, young men and women aren't taught propriety and decency as was done previous. And the media does no help in teaching young men and women self-restraint and decency but makes an industry out of scandal and trashy behavior. Does all this mean that we shall simply allow ourselves to become sloppy, disrespectful, and grotesque? Let the downward slope continue to pull us towards animalistic behavior?
In my lifetime, I have yet to be formally asked out on a date in person (without indirect facebook/messenger/myspace communication), without being guilt tripped if I say no, and in a direct, respectful manner. The worst part is, I am most likely not alone in this. Is this okay? I can't say how it bothers me to hear of a young couple expressing feelings, "getting to know each other", or talking about dating via text, facebook, chat, or by any other mode of communication that allows the two to say things without seeing the other or actually having direct contact. I will admit that I have been a part of this and this is why I hold such an adversity towards it. That kind of communication, I've realized, is not special to me at all nor do I see it as special period. Sending a text, writing a facebook message, talking on chat- those things are all easy. They don't take tons of time or energy nor are they creative. When was the last time a young man and young woman exchanged hand written notes? I surely have not seen it nor heard of it. Now those say something. I vote that technology is taken out of the dating equation. I think that would make things so much better. Not easier necessarily- but more meaningful.
My favorite romance movies would have to be the old-timey ones: The Notebook, Pride and Prejudice, etc. Why? Because there was propriety, chivalry, direct, confident expression of feelings, and a sense of respect. Now I understand that those movies are an interpretation of what happened back then and there was often much myoptic thought and action as well as shady affairs but the general feel is that propriety and decency were much more of a focal point back then.
I know I am not the only young lady claiming those romance movies to be favorites. So young women, bring back decency. Present yourself appropriately-If you think the shirt might be too low or the skirt too high, it probably is, respect yourself, understand that trashy will only take you so far and usually to the same place. Value the power of being lady-like, save yourself for that special young man that deserves you, respect the efforts of young men to dote on you but don’t throw yourself at them, realize your talents and put them forth towards meaningful causes, avoid gossip at all costs, set an example for your friends and maintain accountability with them, maintain composure even in stressful or provoking situations, and simply know yourself and be confident in you. And young gentlemen heed my advice and bring back chivalry. Tell her how you feel in person, open the door for her (yes, even the car door), pull out her chair and help her take off her coat, let her know how beautiful she is, respect her in all ways possible, be kind and gentle, follow through when you give your word, be aware and sensitive to her feelings, set an example for other young men and keep each other accountable, wait for the one special young woman so she may have all of you not just remnants of you, belay pride and do what you know deep down is right.
Young gentlemen and young ladies, lets make dating and relationships meaningful and classy. Go against the norm, in a good way, and be old-timey. Take value in direct conversation, in respect for yourself and the other, in taking things slow, and in placing more value on what dating and relationships are.
Here's to being classy.
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