Number 1

So blogging.... never thought I would get into this but too many thoughts swirl around in my head to not have an outlet for them with out finding that I might go a bit crazy.  I suppose, in all honesty, I am slightly intimidated by blogs.  Those whose blogs I have previously read and continue to follow normally have very deep, philosophical things to say.  It is scary going up against that standard with my new, meager blog.  Nonetheless, I hope to, in the same way, provide my own insight to the world.  Maybe a lot of this blog is for my own personal release but it is my hope that others may get something out of it as well.  

"A Genesis" is the name I found most fit for my particular blog because, of late, genesis is the best descriptor of my life.  I suppose, initially, many would think of the first book of the bible when they see the word genesis.  Though similar, my intentions with this title, however, vary from this denotative definition to a connotative one- a coming into being.  Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary defines the term genesis as such, " the process or mode of originating; production; formation; origination."  

Over this past year I notice how I have changed.  I have finished with my physical growth and begun on the journey of tedious and intricate mental growth.  Much of this, I feel, was due to (speaking of change) my first year in college.  The first few weeks, admittedly, felt like summer camp but once that facade fell away, it was as if life had just begun.  I had never felt the weight of responsibility in the way that I did during that first semester (okay, AND second semester).  I was on my own- blazing my own trail.  There were times I can specifically recall when I thought the floor had fallen out beneath me.  This feeling struck me as odd because I hadn't ever been babied or overly guarded before college, in fact, I enjoyed a proper amount of freedom.  Whatever the cause or reason may be, I still felt unearthed, poorly grounded, and rather free floating.  At times, this was especially unnerving and at others I thought nothing of it.  To this day I am still finding that grounding but I know I won't find the same grounding that was my foundation before.  It is time to rebuild.  I am in the process of this "construction" currently but feel as though I am, at least, nearer to the ground than before.  It has been quite a trek and through these last two semesters I have learned much outside of my scholastic education (and much inside it).  

This year has been one for the books.  I am a different girl/woman than the one that was dropped off at the door step of Rice in August of 2008.  I stood, this morning, on that same door step.  I stood there just like I had stood two semesters before.  But this morning the evolved me realized how it had morphed.  I stood there, yet again, ready to embark on another part of life.  My mind cannot begin to comprehend the wonders of time and experience.  I could not have stood there, waiting to leave, and guessed, even remotely close, at who I will be the next time I stand on another door step or wait to leave one.  With each open door and each closed one I finish and begin a chapter of a story that is to be my life.  

I remain completely mind boggled at the thought of what time and experience will continue to do.  I sit here writing my first blog and who knows what mind will be behind this screen come next year? and the next?  Is it not amazing?  Scary and exciting.  Comfortable and uncomfortable.  All continually new and all completely inevitable.  A genesis.